New in Bremen
Ok, not that new. I’ve been here for 1.5 years now and that means it is time for reflection. How did the move across the world affect me? What has helped me to say goodbye to my life in California and hello to my new hometown Bremen?
Goodbye California - Hello Bremen
Saying goodbye to California and the life we had built there for 10 years was hard and is still a work in progress. I learned that grieving has its own rhythm and takes how long it wants to take. There are no short-cuts! (Not really surprising.) And while I am grieving one thing I also wanted to embrace my new life and live it to the fullest again.
Yes, you can grieve and be happy at the same time! Remember that!
Humans are complex creatures, we can feel plenty.
All our previous international moves were initiated by me and carried a certain safety net. Our first move to Ireland was always supposed to be a short stay, close by (1.5h flight) and reversible. Though we stayed 7 glorious years. The move to Argentina was an adventure and already a bit more difficult, as it was far away from everyone and everything we knew. We only stayed for 2 highly engaging years. And then came California, many of my work friends were already there, so it felt safe again. My place of becoming alive and growing into the me I love. So moving again - due to family needs - was a somewhat sudden decision and felt very different. While moving back to Germany sounds like moving home, it’s not really home anymore (or yet). It's a strange, familiar place. And reverse culture shock is truly a thing. You assume you know how life will be there, but it actually is different. I have changed over the last 20 years (a lot) and so has Germany (not so much). It is good that we moved to a beautiful city that was never our hometown before.
how am I grieving and settling in at the same time?
It is important to know what makes you feel happy and secure. (If you don’t I am happy to coach you.). I thought of all the things, routines and rituals that can help me. And it is not one thing that fits all, but many that fit differently every time I need and use them.
BOOKS - Any kind of book lets me escape for a while. I tend to binge-read (or listen as I love audiobooks). Escape from feeling too much is ok as long as escaping doesn’t take over your life. That’s why I have a particular book that I often grab when change requires me to let go and create space to embrace what is right in front of me. It’s called How To Carry What Can’t Be Fixed by Megan Devine, a beautiful journal style book that encourages reflection.
MOVEMENT - Luckily I learned some somatic practices and know that listening and engaging your body in a change process can be highly beneficial. Somatic workshops and courses were the first things I looked up in Bremen. My preferences here are conscious dance methods, yoga, walking, swimming, cycling. Though anything that allows for rhythm and repetition works, as it calms the nervous system.
CREATIVITY - I love any kind of creative practice. After my burnout I learned to paint, helping me to recreate myself. My idea of painting as a go-to practice was somewhat delayed by life and losing my paint supplies during the move. But I had journals (I love buying beautiful journals). I write, doodle, draw, paint, splash, collage in them. When the grief got too heavy I started tracking my mood, my food intake, my activities to ensure that I took care of myself the best way I was able to. My journal is color-full as is my life.
SPIRITUAL PRACTICES - I am not religious, but I do believe that humans like to live a meaningful life and need connection. Spirituality means aliveness, breath, and connection with my surroundings and people to me. I can find this aliveness and connection in nearly everything I do, moving, creating, being with others and in nature. In my case that means to look for opportunities to be in nature and/or meet new people.
[lat. spīritūs: the animating or vital principle in living things: spirit, soul, or life force
(Oxford dictionary); also: breath, energy].
THERAPY / COACHING - Yes, it takes that too. And I highly recommend finding a therapist or coach for support, particularly when you are alone in a new place and your friends are asleep when you are awake and vice versa.
I added a Bremen/Umzu section on my page, where I introduce all the people, organisations and workshops that have supported me so far, as well as a books and a resources page with more tips and tools. It takes a village, even when you are moving.
Contact me, if you like to know how coaching could support you in your change process.
